Before I write anything, I just want to say that I’m so glad that this happened. Through my first relationship, I’ve grown as a person in ways where I became more aware of my love language and became exposed to what I lacked. But most importantly, I’ve learned so much in what a relationship should look like and what should be in its’ core.
Looking back, my relationship was not the healthiest. I started dating with the intentions of just wanting a boyfriend and to experience what it feels like to have someone belong to you. I didn’t think through nor did I really ask my close friends for input and just went straight into the relationship. Furthermore, I didn’t pray about the potential relationship because back then I was blinded with the idea of getting a first boyfriend.
When I dated, everything was new to me. I never held hands, went on fancy valentines dinner dates, receive love letters, or go on Clipper games for monthly anniversaries. He literally spoiled me in every way possible and was the best boyfriend that he could have been. He always drove down for an hour or more every Friday to see me, always bought me meals no matter how many times I’ve offered to split the bill, showered me with dates to places that I’ve never been before (I live under a rock), and showed me love that I’ve never received before. (Disclaimer: I’m not saying I’ve never received love or I grew up with an inadequacy of love. I mean love as in receiving love from your significant other.)
Everything seemed perfect. I felt loved and as every month passed by, our relationship got deeper and stronger. There were times when we did argue about the stupidest things but in the end, we always tried to come to a common ground and resolve it.
But something was off. I felt loved, I felt special, but something was missing and I was searching for what that was for the longest time. It took me a while to come across what was missing in the relationship.
Intimacy when two Christians come together to glorify one God, cherishing each other as significant others but also as brothers and sisters before Christ, and growing together in faith. The problem was, he wasn’t Christian. I did try to talk to him about Christ and Christianity but he as very closed off about those topics and rather questioned and tried to rebuttal against it. To me, there was to a certain point where our