When I ask people about their first impression of me the usual answer I get is very negative. People would often say that I looked hard to approach, that I look intimidating, that I look like a girl that would party, drink, go out, or that I look mad.
Yes, I do understand why people may view me in this way and I don’t blame them for thinking of me this way either since first impressions can’t be helped. My outer image does look pretty intimidating with the amount of eye makeup I put on and the soulless resting face I have when I’m alone may result in me giving off a strong vibe.
However even if I did understand the reasons to these first impressions, and even if I tried to compromise to myself that it was okay, in the end it did hurt. When I found out that people didn’t approach me because of these reasons and that they avoided reaching out to me just because they based me on these impressions, it got me sad.
‘Do they actually know who I am?’
‘But…I don’t even party and I never even touched alcohol before? I’m not even curious about the party life?’
‘I’m actually pretty weird and nice?’
I never really cared about my image nor did I mind people’s first impressions until the first year of college. Since I was put in a place with new surroundings and new people, I wanted to find my belonging in a community where I could be loved. But since I wasn’t getting back the love I was expecting only to realize that I was receiving judgement and favoritism, it hurt me more than it was supposed to. And the more I started to rely on people’s views on my image, it shifted me away from what God thought of me.
Isaiah 64:8– “But now, O Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.”
There shouldn’t be such a term such as “ugly” used on people. For God created everyone in His image and to call them in negative terms or judging them a certain way for appearance, it is ultimately saying God’s creation is flawed and that in itself is sin. The moment I placed my values in people’s perspective on myself, was the moment I lost the truth that God loves me for me inside and out. He is my perfect and sovereign creator, and He loves me despite how intimidating or mad I look. He loves me despite the countless amount of times I sin and despite the number of times I turn my back on Him. This made me realize how foolish I was in trading God’s unconditional love for worldly views on myself.
True, first impressions can’t be helped. But to the ones that may get offended or hurt due to first impressions, I want to encourage to you all that impressions honestly does not matter. Find your value in God, and you will always be content for there is beauty in God’s creations.
1 Samuel 16:7– “But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”